I was going to write about Moses today. But for some reason this image came to my mind. This picture was taken earlier this year. We were about to go into a restaurant to celebrate my husband’s birthday. I cried before taking the picture and I wept again today. The last two years have been extremely challenging for me. Took a lot of L’s. Including a major blow to my finances. I am used to being able to give and take care of everyone. But I couldn’t this year.
Totally dependent on my husband. Definitely not the way I am used to living.
I could barely afford to buy him a card. It hurt me to take money from him…money he gave me to buy a gift. That’s just crazy. He took me shopping so that I could have something nice to wear (most of my clothes don’t fit anymore since I had a baby). He even paid for his own birthday meal. It broke my heart. Especially when he works so hard to provide for me and our son. Working long hours. Sometimes driving up to 2 hours a day for work. I wanted to give him more. Because he deserves the best. But I couldn’t. Because I didn’t have it.
And he never complained.
I am grateful for him. Grateful that God sent me help. A husband that loves me unconditionally. He has been rockin’ with me for 6 years now. Through the good times and bad times, he remained faithful. Loyal.
My cousin told me just the other day that some marriages don’t survive some of the things we’ve been through. And that is true. I am grateful that God sent my husband to show me what real love is. I am grateful to God for surrounding me with people who truly care about me and have helped to pray me through the hard times.
People may say Jesus is not real. That religion—Christianity—is a just crutch, but I beg to differ. My faith saved my life. I know I could’ve been dead a long time ago. Especially with the stupid choices I’ve made. Crowds I used to run with. Places I used to go. Stupid choices. Wrong thinking patterns. I should’ve been gone!
But I am still here.
There is a song by Donald Lawrence entitled “Encourage Yourself” that came to my mind. That’s what I did today! I was reminded of the devotional that I wrote about Abraham. I can relate to him. I have done a lot of amazing things in life, but I’ve also made a lot of mistakes along the way. Some dumb choices of my own doing. Some choices made out of ignorance. Some choices made because I loved others more than I loved myself.
BUT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His mercies are new every morning! And for that I am grateful. I praise God for always being there for me. Never leaving me. Never forsaking me. God is always working through people to show how much he loves and cares for me.
I owe him my life.
This picture is very symbolic. It represents a new start.
I am determined to finish the rest of my years with purpose. Aggressively going after all God has for me. Being more conscious of the choices I make. Maximizing every moment that I have. I want to be a better person. Even if it that means putting my cart back at Walmart when I don’t feel like it. Every choice matters whether big or small.
It’s one thing to be happy, but life is better lived when you have joy. Joy comes from the inside. It’s not predicated on extrinsic factors in my environment. Joy comes from the Lord.
I have joy!
Look at that smile on my face in the picture. It is evidence of the work that the Lord is doing in my life.
Goals–> Philippians 3:12-14 New International Version (NIV)
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.