“She can’t have a baby.”
“You two are a young couple… what are y’all waiting for?”
“Don’t you want kids?”
“What’s wrong with y’all?”
“You are getting older, you know…your biological clock is ticking.”
“I know you two will make some beautiful kids.”
“Oooooh, I can’t wait til’ the baby comes.”
“When are the babies coming?”
We knew we wanted kids, but we were not in a rush. We wanted to complete short-term goals, travel, and most certainly sleep in as much as possible.
But we had so many people in our ears urging us to have a baby. UGH!
Talk about pressure.
So, I started listening to all those voices pressing us to expand our family.
I started to worry. My anxiety caused my husband to worry. Which led to long, stressful conversations about having kids, doctor visits for family planning, and downloading apps to track fertility…blah blah blah.
Month after month. Year after year. Still, no baby.
Doctor visit after visit. Test after test. Result after result revealed we were both healthy. And yet, no baby.
It wasn’t happening when we wanted it to happen. Or to put it another way, it wasn’t happening when they wanted it to happen.
As you can imagine, our home went from being a place of peace to a warzone of confusion and confrontation. And granted our marriage was GREAT.
Then to add to our disappointment, one “minister” stood me in front of the congregation and said, “She can’t have a baby…come on, let’s pray for her.”
Talk about being frustrated and humiliated…smh.
(Fast Forward to today) That “can’t” is now talking and running around the house…he’ll be 2 next week.
Bottom line is, never let the opinions of others supersede what God told you. We had prayed for kids when we were newlyweds and knew God had answered us. We knew He would do it in His timing. But, doubt and fear flooded our minds when we started listening to other people.
Whole time the majority of “those people” were not around to support us when the baby finally did come. And you know what? I’m glad we didn’t get pregnant back then. At that time, we were engrossed in our careers, working long hours, and I was in post graduate school. There was no way we could have given our son the kind of love, attention, and stability that we can now provide for him.
So, what am I trying to say? Be careful who you listen to. You need to be around people who are speaking life into you! And their words should confirm what God has already told you and what you know to be true in your heart.
Pastor Stephen Robles breaks it all the way down:
“In our lives today (and in your life today), there is a chorus of voices trying to speak into your life. Some of them good, some of them bad. Maybe they are friends, family, co-workers, social media, and the loudest voice of all culture: music, movies, and T.V. And if we are not careful we will start listening to the voices of the chorus. We will look to them for approval, validation…we will begin to doubt our calling and will ignore the voice of our Creator.”
In his message below, he suggests four ways we can overcome doubt, insecurity, envy, and fear. He gives us practical strategies to shake off the haters!
I hope you can make time to listen to this powerful message. Enjoy!